It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
