Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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