Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
NoShamevember. You game?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
