I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
