i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
