Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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