I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize