So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
