I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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