Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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