Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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