I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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