please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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