hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize