For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
