I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
