I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
