Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
as a side note pls kill me
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