Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
