Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize