my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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