On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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