New invention idea: vibrating tampons
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize