he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We had sex on a dog bed..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
