So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
