Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
