Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
