Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
