We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize