its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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