Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize