rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
