Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
