in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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