Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
