if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
