singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
