I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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