now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
