Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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