singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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