Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
