did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize