I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
