He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
third nipple confirmed
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
