I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
