im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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