So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
