I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
