R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
