Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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