Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
