when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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