Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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