PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
