Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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