nut hugger
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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