She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I enjoy the company of your penis
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
