My room smells like vodka and shame
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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