My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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