So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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