Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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