Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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