hotel room ftw
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
In America we eat man semen.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
