i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
