Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I still have a little drunk in my system
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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