I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
