Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
