I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
