Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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