so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
