May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize